On-the-Job Jealousy

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Walt walked into the office after lunch and immediately noticed the two floral arrangements sitting on his coworker’s desk.

“Who sent you flowers?” Walt asked Anna.

“Aren’t they beautiful,” Anna replied, blushing.

“Yeah, lovely,” Walt said sarcastically. “Who sent them to you?”

“My date from last night.”

Walt and Anna had been dating for a few months until Anna had to break it off due to Walt’s possessiveness and unbridled jealousy.

“Yeah? Did you have to give him a blow job to get those?” Walt asked Anna.

“Asshole!” Anna snapped.

“Whore!” Walt snapped back.

“You’re both fired!” snapped their boss.

(100 words)


Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers challenge from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.

 

Right and Wrong

 

 

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“That’s not right,” she chided me. “You’re totally wrong.”

“Well, I may not always be right,” I freely admitted, “but I’m never wrong.”

A look of incredulity came over her face. “What? That makes no sense.”

“But I’m not wrong,” I responded. “Case closed.”

“Are you freakin’ kidding me? If you say you’re never wrong, then by definition, you are always right. So how can you say you’re never wrong while also saying you may not always be right?”

“Exactly,” I responded.

“What kind of response is that to what I just said?” she asked, anger starting to overtake her.

“It’s the right answer.”

“No, it’s not the right answer.”

“Who says what is right and what is wrong?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“That’s right.” I said. “End of discussion.”

Savage Me

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“I want you to savage me,” she said, glancing at him with a wicked smile on her face.

“You mean you want me to ravage you, don’t you?” he responded.

“What?”

“Savage is usually used as an adjective or a noun,” he said proudly. “It’s rarely used as a verb. One doesn’t savage something…or someone.”

“What?” she repeated, now with a quizzical look on her face.

“Yes,” he continued. “Savage means undomesticated or lacking normal human constraints. But ravage means to wreak havoc upon. So what you really want me to do,” he said as he winked at her and flashed what he hoped was a sexy look, “is to wreak havoc upon you, not to act undomesticated or to lack normal human constraints. Hence, you want me to ravage you, not savage you.”

“No,” she said emphatically as she jumped up out of the bed and put on her robe. She turned around and glared at him. “You want to know what I really want? I really want you to get up, get dressed, and get out of here. You are an asshole. A pedantic asshole.”

“Wow,” he said. “You really know how to savage a guy.”


This is my post for today’s one-word prompt: “savage.”